Finding the Why

"Why".  It's a simple word, used often...especially if you have kids.  And I mean that from both sides.  A parent asking why a child chose to do something or a child asking (maybe a hundred times in one car ride) why something is the way it is?  Which honestly, leads to about fifty other follow-up questions.  And if you want total honesty, that usually leads to me asking "Why do you have so many questions?!"  Sometimes I truly don't know the answers.  Sometimes the answers are a little too telling, and I want to protect their innocence as long as possible.  And sometimes, sometimes,  I just get tired of answering questions.

But the truth is we all have questions.  As adults sometimes we just don't bother asking them.  Kids don't have a filter.  They don't know that sometimes a question is too difficult to answer given their age.  So they ask.  And they learn.  And they ask more.  And they learn more...more about the world, about life, about themselves.

It's been years since I blogged...years.  And I've thought about picking it back up here and there, but never did.  Why?  See that question again.  And that's why I chose the title I did.  Because see how it keeps appearing.  That's how it's been in my life for a while.  Trying to find "the why".  Why do I do certain things, commit to certain things, put pressure on myself to do this or that, and feel like if I'm not moving a million miles a minute, then it's not enough.  Or rather, in this case, why don't I blog?  I love writing.  I love sharing.  I love putting my words in written form, so maybe if I follow through, I will be one of those organized people who print it out and their kids can have it forever.  Probably not going to happen if I'm being realistic, but maybe...there's always hope!

So this blog, the why behind it, is simply to find my why.  It won't be all about the kids.  It won't be all about me.  It won't be all about our move to Rockwall.  It will be some hodge podge mixture of things.  It might be messy and mismatched.  It might not all be complete sentences with proper grammar (and I do like grammar).  But sometimes, you embrace life.  You embrace honesty.  You embrace the chaos and you just share - openly and honestly without processing all of the "proper" forms.  

And maybe along the way, you'll find that you helped someone choose to embrace their journey and the why behind it.